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Personal Experiences

Christine's story

24 February 2011

I've been made homeless twice in the past three years. I used to live in a house with my husband and two kids - they are 10 and 12 years old now. It was an unhappy home. I would secretly drink alcohol to cope with domestic abuse. It took me quite a long while before I acted on advice.

The end result was I left the kids at home with their Dad and left the house. Reassuring my kids was difficult. I remember telling them "Everything is going to work out. Mummy will never really leave you. I am always loving you." I stayed with friends and stayed in a hotel for a night. But I had to find something more secure. I started to look for a hostel.

When walking through Belfast City centre no one would have realised that I was homeless. I had been wearing my good jacket and was asked if I was a social worker at one hostel. I said "no" as I tripped over empty beer tins. I'd been turned away from two different hostels - one hostel in Belfast that has 100 beds was full, and another hostel turned me away because I needed to have had been referred there by phone. I had no money and no-where to go that night. I contacted my husband as a last resort and asked to go back home. Instead he lent me money to stay in a B&B.

A week later I found a lovely house to rent. The court let me have loads of contact with my kids because I told the truth about my alcohol dependency. When the kids visited the house they loved it. I cleaned toilets seven mornings a week to pay the rent. I had lovely neighbours and a kind landlord.

But there were other people who did not want me living there. I came from a different religious background to most people in the area and things were made difficult for me. My front garden was completely torn up and then a flag was stuck in the garden. The landlord said I'd have to leave before a petrol bomb arrived through the window. I knew I had to go. It was a lonely feeling watching as the large van drove off with my bed, dressing table etc. At least there was a carpet still there, so with that and few blankets I slept on the floor. I was homeless again.

Eventually I came to the Simon Community. They were very welcoming and I was given a room. They got me counselling. It really helped me. The tears erupted before the words spilled out. The Simon Community helped me to get the permanent home near the kids and my close family. They still call on me and if I need help all I have to do is call in with their support service.

I've been back to court a few times to sort out custody of the kids. That has been nerve wreaking. Now the kids stay with me in my new home three nights a week. It has taken time but I feel I've made it. When things got bad I told myself "Never give up". It may not be a castle but my house is a home where there is safety and love.

Recently my son reminded me of what I said, "Everything is going to work out. Mummy will never really leave you. I am always loving you." That was three years and three months ago. "Do you know, I think you were right" he added.

'Christine' is not the writer's real name. She asked to remain anonymous for the sake of her family.